HE GIVES AND TAKES AWAY

Last November I wrote this story about what God was teaching me through my dog...and I'm so grateful that God healed him and that he is sitting by my side right now, one year later, in perfect health!

As I write this I am on a plane on my way to Omaha to visit my 5 month old niece, a trip I almost cancelled multiple times because my dog has been sick and it has put my life on hold. I had no idea how much I loved this 8 pound Maltese until I watched him start to slowly die; it just broke my heart. I asked God to either heal him or please take him, quickly. But He did neither. I had to face the unknown every day, and it was almost too much for me to handle as I struggled with the lack of control I had over the situation.

Day by day he got worse. After a bone marrow biopsy and a blood transfusion, he started to improve. But he wasn't quite the same and the effects of the strong medications he was on made him extremely hungry and thirsty. I was up all hours of the night some nights feeding him or taking him to the bathroom. I had a friend come let him out during the day because he started having accidents. I began to have extreme fatigue and often doubted that I even made the right decision to 'save' him. I remember crying in church one week as we sang the song "He gives and takes away...but I still choose to say, Oh, blessed be Your Name." And my eyes were opened to what God was trying to show me. I was hanging onto my sweet dog, and I knew I had to let him go and give him to God. He wasn't mine to keep forever.

Of course this opened the door to many conversations I started having with God about death and why we all die someday. I didn't like death very much and told him so. My heart was hurting so badly and I realized I hadn't cried this much since my divorce 5 years ago. Ironically, I had been protecting myself from relationships to avoid this exact pain! But God gently showed me that I can't hide from pain in this life, because then I would also miss out on love. And loving my dog was worth all the tears.

Jesus says there will be heartaches here on earth. We aren't in heaven yet. So there are still tears, There is sadness and suffering. There is death. There is pain. But Jesus has overcome all this! He brings peace in the midst of our struggles. He is there with us through the pain. I don't know how this part of my story will end, but I thanked God for blessing me with a little best friend these past four years. I told God I trusted Him and that He knew best. The most beautiful part of this painful experience is that God used my love of a sweet white fluffy dog to show me more of who He is and His amazing love for me.

Thank you, Lord when you give, and bless you even more when you take away, for that is when we see you more clearly than ever before. And where we learn that you are enough.

Job 1:21
Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.